I Didn't Expect This
by Artistically-Free
Summary: It all started on that day, after recording a video... A pop-up came out as I was trolling the net once again, and I... Well, I'm not going to lie to you. I clicked on it. Who wouldn't when it said that it sold these "Hetalia Units"? So... I'm here typing with some units living under my roof. Based on Est. 1995's Hetalia Unit Manuals
1. Prolouge

"Thanks for watching, dudes!" I ended, looking into the webcam and saying my line. I had been playing this game for about an hour or so. Of all the games to play with, it was Slender. A game concentrating on some dude wanting to collect notes in order to escape from the Slenderman. Oh God. And to think it's about 2 in the morning over here. I clicked my mouse, ending the recording. Slowly, I stood up from my arm chair, sore from sitting on my ass for an hour. I went out the study door and walked to the kitchen. The way to the said room was quite dark, but it was merely nothing compared to playing Amnesia.

Bleghhh. I don't even want to mention those games anymore.

I soon found myself back in my armchair, sipping a glass of water. I stared at my screen for a few seconds, put the glass down, and started to post the video on YouTube. You see, this is what I do for fun. Post videos of me playing some games, or even pranking my neighbors. Of course, I wasn't really down. It's not like I'm someone like PewDiePie or Cry. Ah, crap. I'm typing in names now. Oh well. What will be will be, right? Soon after uploading it and getting 4 views after a minute, I decided to open up DeviantArt.

Inbox was cleared in a matter of minutes. Just replying to a friend and deleting all the journals once again. Let me tell you one thing: This was a normal day for me. I live in a fairly large house in Houston, Texas. Currently, I'm 28 years old. I recently took a break from my job since my parents urged me to do so, but that didn't stop me from sending a few e-mails here and there. I work as a lawyer. Hell, I've been a cashier before. I don't know why I just typed that in. This is what happens when you just happened to finish a game of Slender: Fucking non-important rants.

You heard me, I swear. Surprise, surprise! Do note the sarcasm.

As I trolled around on my RP account on the same website I mentioned earlier, I saw a pop-out… Well, pop out. It read something about buying Hetalia merchandises. Mehhh—Wait. Did I just see HETALIA? The fucking best anime ever seen in the whole damn world? Okay, yes, I am 28 years of age… But what does that have to do with loving an anime? I slowly clicked on it, scared that it might bring out a virus or something. From there, it opened another tab. I waited for it to load for a minute, since my downloads were clearly slowing it down.

As I read through the description, I managed to understand some bits. Apparently, there is something called 'Hetalia Units'. I think I came across them when I was younger, but I never thought that this was actually real. Nonetheless, I clicked on the "ORDER" button and filled out a form. A few seconds later, it informed me that my delivery would come up in 1-3 business days. Hmmmm… That would give me enough time to do more videos before seeing what these units are. Yes, I can't really remember what they were. Wonderful memory I have here, right?

I shut my computer off and headed towards my bedroom. Once again, the darkly-lit halls were a bit scary… But oh well. I locked the bedroom door behind me and climbed into bed, snuggling the warm blankets covering me. As I closed my eyes, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. My bills were quite high, since I had a house this size… But that was nothing since my paycheck was big… What would happen if it was a scam? What would happen if someone barged into my house and stole my shit? What would happen if it really wasn't a scam and—

I'm over-reacting again, aren't I?

Whatever will be will be, is what I say. Good night.


	2. Chapter 1

The next two days went quite uneventful. Just yesterday, I finished the game of Slender. The ending was quite boring, but it would have to do. As long as I didn't get messages telling me to continue it, I'm good to go. Next thing on my list would be a game called 'Ib'. A friend had told me about it when I was –once again- younger, but I was a wuss back then and I didn't play it for years. Until now. I opened the window, and the creepy-ass song I used to know played through my headphones. I turned the video recording thing on and started it up.

"Sup, dudes? I'm back again for some more shit! And today… We're gonna do Ib." I started out, using a fake English accent. Who knew that I loved them? I was always the Russian ones that I started off a video with, but I guess this would have to do. "If you do not know where the bloody hell my Russian accent went, I'm giving it a break." I explained quickly, moving the controls and all. I started out with the 'NEW GAME' and went onto the 3rd chapter for 3 videos. It was quite intense, seeing that the poor girl went around the museum with scary works of art chasing after her. I suddenly felt sorry for her though. Ahhh… Poor little girl.

Maybe if Russia was there, she would be happier~ Sorry. Russia fan here. Of course, Hetalia-wise.

"Thanks for watching, mates. Cheerio~!" I ended with another English accent. Clicking on the button, I ended the video. The story had a wonderful plot, something not really seen in the horror games we all usually play. I mean—take SLENDER for example. How did he wind up in the forest? Oh no. Once again, I'm ranting. Damn it. After editing it, I posted the last video on YouTube. Then, I trolled around on DeviantArt again, seeing that nothing really changed after the 17 minutes of playing an episode of Ib.

I shut my computer off and headed downstairs. It was around 4 in the afternoon and I was still waiting for that unit thing to arrive. For a minute there, I almost forgot about it. Speaking of forgetting to do something, I skipped out on lunch. Not again. And this, dear friends, is why you should never play an addicting game of Ib when you're near break time. Or something like that. Besides, playing Happy Wheels is probably the most addicting thing you'll ever play… And I'm trailing off again. Goody.

I opened the fridge and got some bread and cheese out. I toasted the bread and smeared the cheese all over it. For so many years, I've been eating the same thing each day. Nothing could stop me from eating this, even if it wasn't allowed in a diet or something. After a few minutes of eating and making sure the kitchen was spotless, I heard the doorbell ring. Thinking it was some kid ding-dong-ditching me again -that damn Larry-, I ignored it. But then, it kept going on. Ring after ring, I took wary steps towards the door.

**DING.  
DING.  
DING.  
DING.  
DING.  
DI-**

"SHUT UP." I managed to speak out and opened the door widely. In front of me was a young man, no older than 25, wearing some kind of uniform. He wore a mint green hat, a white shirt with a green vest over it, and some jeans. This wasn't some ordinary uniform that I would see every day, but this didn't really bother me. It was the big-ass crate behind him that did. Upon realizing that I was pissed off, he quietly apologized. "S-sorry about that. I thought you were upstairs or deaf…" He started off, but paused when he figured out what he was saying.

"A-ah! That came out wrong…!" I sighed and put my hand on his shoulder. It wasn't so hard, I was about 5'6 and he was… What? 5'4? I don't know. But it was still easy to do so. "Don't worry, little man." I said, trying to act all creepy and shit. This was actually fun. "Just tell me what you have there and I won't torture you." I finished, enjoying the look in his eyes. He took a step back, almost bumping into the crate. "T-this is the delivery from Flying Mint Bunny Corp., a H-Hetalia unit…" He replied, shaking and trembling in front of me.

Mwahahaha. I feel evil.

"Oh. Good." I replied. Inside, I felt like giving off a fangirl squeal, but that would just ruin my image from him. "Bring it in." I said, opening the door wider and giving him space to move the box. He did as he was told and handed me a clip board and a pen. "P-please sign it, Ms…?" He trailed off, not even knowing my name. Pffft. Why would I give him my name? I took hold of the pen and signed my signature on the paper, giving the pen and clipboard back to him after. He left quickly, muttering a 'thank you' and a 'goodbye'.

I closed the door behind him and turned to look at the crate. Taped on the side was a manual. Like any other normal person would do, I took it and began reading it.

**ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO: User Guide and Manual**

This has got to be a joke. Hell, if this was… I'm probably going to strangle that person. Of all the units to send, it had to be SPAIN. Yeah, I was Spanish… But… Wouldn't it be hard to take a fucking Spain unit under your roof? Sure, siestas were damn awesome and all that… But… Hopefully, he won't do that 'fusosososo' thing around here. I love him and all, but that laugh of his annoys me. Annoys me well. Drives me up the wall. Me molesta. Grahhh. Okay. Now, let's see if I can open this thing…

As I leafed through the manual, I chuckled at the 'length' part. Who would put in something like that? Oh well. Damn awesome. Gott, this is how I act without coffee. But anyway, I decided not to do numbers 2 and 3… Since I didn't have a Romano unit and I didn't want a crying Spain to come out. I guess I could cook some enchiladas. Chicken enchiladas, that is. Oh God, I hope I have some ingredients here in the fridge…

After an hour or so, I came out with a fresh plate of the said food. I'm not going to lie to you, but it took a fucking hour to prepare it. Oh, and 15 minutes to make sure it looked nice and all. Maybe I snuck a bite or two, but that doesn't matter! All that matters is that I get _el hombre Español _out of that box, right? Okay, fine. Three bites! That's it. I swear. I placed the plate of food in front of the box and got out a small fan. I made sure that the air direction went towards the box. For a while there, I wanted to hear his pleading cries of letting him out of the box… Ah, I love being evil.

After about a few seconds, I heard small sounds coming from the box. Maybe he was tapping it or trying to see what the Hell was holding him down? "A-ahhh… _¿Quién está allí?"_ I heard a voice come out. Since I wasn't in the mood for a Spanish conversation, I replied to him in English. "Give me a minute. I'll just get my crowbar." I said. Upon realizing that he might have gotten the wrong idea, I quickly corrected my words. "To get you out of the box, señor." And with that, I proceeded to the basement, where I found the crowbar.

I headed back upstairs to find that the lid of the box was gone and that the plate of enchiladas was nowhere to be found. I could hear some humming from the kitchen, and I decided to check it out. As I did as I just said, I found out that he had escaped from the box and went on to eat the dish in the kitchen. "Oh! There you are! _Lo siento. Estaban tomando tiempo… _Oh, and your enchiladas taste _muy bien_!" He spoke in his –wonderful- accent. God, I wish I had that accent…! He gave me a smile and munched on the food.

"_Gracias. Me alegro de que le gusta esto_." I replied, using my native tongue. I gave my own smile as well, but it seemed to have sent chills down his spine. Oh god. Not this again. Yes, I admit it… I am kind of creepy. DON'T BLAME ME. THIS IS WHAT AMNESIA DID TO ME A FEW YEARS BACK. He gave me a nod before finishing off the dish and walking over to the sink to wash it. Ah, good. He can wash the dishes. Yeah, I'm an OC person, but I guess having Spain wash them wouldn't be that bad.

I took some time to study his appearance, but of course… My eyes were kind of glued to his ass. HOLYMOTHEROFGOD, that was the best ass I've seen. Hell, even better than that guy I dated from the soccer club way back! I tore my eyes off the amazing sight, since I didn't really want to give a bad impression. It was kind of silent here, so I figured that I should say something? I tried to refrain from saying something about his ass, or something about becoming one with Russia… What do say…?

"If I'm not wrong… You should have some items in that box of yours, _no_?" I asked, giving out a little phrase I rarely used. When was the last time I said that…? BACK ON SUBJECT BEFORE I START RANTING AGAIN. "_Si_! I'll get them right away! Oh, and where should I sleep? I was thinking the…" He trailed off, a grin plastered on his face as he wiped his wet hands with a towel. "That would be a good idea. You may sleep wherever you want, _señor_." Ah, being formal… Isn't that the best feeling in the world? Besides, I'm quite used to the fact that I needed to use these formalities when you meet someone new…

But then again, I've been adoring his ass since I was 11.

"_Muchas gracias_! I'll probably be in a room upstairs, that's if you don't mind." He said. Of course, I nodded and led him up to his room. It was a plain room, colored beige and… Oh crap. I remembered that I used to keep my old sports junk in here. Oh wait—I guess he could handle that. It really was just a box or two of my sports equipment… Once he was in the room, he took his time in observing every corner of it. Did he think I had a pipe around here or something? Well, I do… But that's in my own room.

After observing it, he flopped on the bed and rested his head on the pillow that was set up. He closed his eyes and… Apparently, took his _siesta_.

I guess I should start making sure that this room would be prepared. I knew that his _siestas_ would last for a long time, so I took out the boxes in the closet and moved them downstairs to the basement. This was repeated until the closet was clean and all. So… I began to move his clothes onto a hanger each and hang them on the closet line. I really never expected him to have a matador uniform, but I guess that came in since Hiramuya-san drew him in one for that event… God, his ass looked awesome there.

MORE RANTS ABOUT HIS ASS. YAY.

I took out his guitar and carefully set it up on a stand in the corner of the room. Where did I get the stand? Hey, I play the guitar too. No joke. Then… I guess I put that tomato thing on the bedside? Yeah, that would be a good idea. I slowly placed it over there. Thankfully, he was still asleep as I did all this re-arranging for the room.

How did he do that?

I turned the AC on, since it was getting too hot in here. This WAS Texas, after all. I draped a thin blanket sheet over his figure and left the room, closing the door behind me. I guess it was time to get that god damn crate out of my house… What a day, what a day…


End file.
